Again Def: ABU=Anyone but Utd

ALI= Anti Liverpool
“Sons of the Blog. I am Naseem “Swoosh” Mayet. And what I see before me is an amy of my members from the KOP. You have come as Free Men , and Free Men you are.
But What will you do with that Freedom?
Aye, Play and you may win, Lose and You will live, At least for a while. Then dieing in your beds many years from now. Will you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for just ONE CHANCE ,ONE
And you may tell the Man Utd Muggs, That they will come to Anfield BUT THEY WILL NEVER TAKE OUR IZZET,IZZET,IZZET, IZZET,IZZET,IZZET.”
taken from the movie-Braveheart
In life you get Real Madrid vs Barcelona, River Plate vs Boca Juniors, Inter Milan vs AC Milan, Kaiser Chiefs vs Orlando Pirates, Hugh Hefner vs Larry Flint, Samprass vs Agassi, But the one that affects us the most is Man Utd vs Liverpool.
As I said earlier they will never rob us in our own back yard. This is the one time that everybody and I mean Everybody goes to war on this Blog. Last time we hit 86 comments. Chicks were told to fry Samoosas and not share their input on ball. This is the one time that Any thing goes on the Blog, beside racism and religeon.
Liverpool have gathered a sudden momentum and at Anfield We will not let them steal from Us. Utd on the other hand are playing shit# and have gained from the elements of Luck in the past two weeks. I wont lie it will be tough and the likes of Rooney and Ronaldo have to be watched. Liverpool scare me in defense and with no David James we can breath a sigh of relief. But Reyna is not far off from James. The last time around Liverpool were pathetic and totally outplayed. They will not go for the title but Its all about pride and Izzet. We simply cannot lose this one on Saturday, For the League, For Chelsea and for the members of the KOP.
I hope Benitez plays Bellamy. We need some bite and Spiet up front. Bellamys handiCap is suited for games like this. He can terrorise Ferdinand and Vidic. Becoz these are the game s that you have to have the BOTTLE FOR IT!!!
So the Jihad: Abus vs Ali’s is upon us. I urge every member of the Kop to wield their swords and step on the batllefield. Post you comments. Join the Fight. The Generals will fight it out too. Cisse, Fis,Waseem Khan, Ebie Kop End, Punisher ,Ary M, Mombhai, Azee, Biggy, Agent, Herbly, Pops, Zunaid, Seth. THE LAUDIUM OWES, Swaar, Em Ay,Zobester, Zunaid,Zam Ram, Vahzerz, YV,SV, Fatima S,Zee Mayet, Zaheera, Man Utd Babe, Faheem Vahzerz, Sir Ali Busby and all the other owes. Too many names to mention
This is what its all about you Utd Muggs. This is the time when we place friendship aside and put Izzet in Front.
For the Arsenal supporters they are like the Irish, You can never trust them on which side they’ll be On.
So Join the Fight, For the Chics Stand your ground, Post your comments please against these sexist owes. Show that your opinion counts. And Everybody join the bloodshed , Spill some Blood and leave a comment.
This is the time that we PUNISH MAN UTD on this Blog. This is the time that we show them that referees are always not on their side. This is the time that we show them They will never steal victory in stoppage time. This is the time we bury them and give Chelsea the advantage.
I spoke to Rashid Cassim last night. He was optimistic. He says Liverpool will cap the double this week. First against Barcelona and then against Utd. And whatever this man says always ends up a reality. Also he says that this years Champions League Final will be between Real Madrid and Liverpool
Swoosh. Proud member of the Abus and Anti Utd.
You Will Never Walk Alone Liverpool Fans.
This is a time when we fight till the end, Where Color, Religion and race doesnt matter. Where you will watch the back of the next man as he will watch yours. Whatever happens come Saturday I will be the first to enter the field of battle and I will be the last man to leave and WE WILL LEAVE NO MAN BEHIND………………….
(Gerard, Kuyt,Bellamy) (Rooney)

Also Special dedication: To a close buddy of mines from Nelspruit. Yaseen aka “Junky” Mohammed. I will pledge a bet with you on my blog. If Utd beat Liverpool I will take you for the long awaited Prawns…………….when you come to JHB or I am thinking of coming to Nelspruit for a breather. Visit Faaiyaz one time. Deal is On
“Guys remember the Jihad Abu vs Ali Post is a war. We get all kinds of comments. The comments that have been deemed inferior sparks the hate, the passion, For the record upon consulting with advisors and taking fellow bloggers opinions into consideration, Since the banning of Gori Sugra and her husband Goolam Patel we say as they say in Italian, Arivideci to Riyad Rustenburg and all his cousins from Lichtenburg and Rustenburg. But we thank him for his Input and the blood he shed. “- The Swoosh Blog Commitee.
Facebook Comments


  1. As much as I hate Man United, I must say that Ronaldo is something special!
    This lity has raised his game to another level and just seems to get better and better…
    Its one thing if you have moments of spells, but this lity has being consistent throughout this current campaign… Im one that wishes Man United bad luck every fuckin game, as im ABU… On Saturday the draw was on the cards, then came this lity with his moment of brilliance…. His a class act… BUT WE WAITING FOR THEM AND WILL TAME THEM, N BRING THEM DOWN TO EARTH come Saturday!

    Arsenal’s Young gunners, done them proud, they were class! Cesc is Magical, for a Lity , 19 yrs old his way above the rest! Well done to the Toppie for keeping to his word and showing his faith in his young gunners,
    Adebayor needs his head examined, the flippen owe is nuts!
    Ballack besides the pass for the 1st goal, I think his game has deteriorated since he fell for Romans Millions, the guy is not half the player he was b 4 he joined!
    And then comes my beloved LIVERPOOL… WELL WE F@#KED Barca up in there own backyard! Fatty Ronald D could not cast his magic… We beat the shit out of Sheff United, and Stevie G did not dive! Watch the replay, he just masterminded his run…
    And finished off with a classic goal which was well deserved…

    ZOBESTER for diving, no one will beat Chelsea…

  2. Man utd gona triumph, as a arsenal im a neutral but swayed to utd winning, they have been consistent and got some class players who gel consistently every week but either way looking forward to a exhilirating game with hopefully a shit load of games

  3. The day will be Staurday. The score 3-1. Man U shall prevail. As 1 stupid a$$ Liverlool fan commented last week “If we beat Man U, our season is made” – Just goes to show that we are the Kings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. You MUGGS will never beat us

    The only reason you MUGGS think we need to be brought down to earth is cause you are so far down under that everything else looks so far above

    We not Barca
    We f$^ken Man United

    The only thing you guys can do is open your mouths about winning
    Winning is ours

    We going to f^&k you guys up as usual


  5. Glory Glory Liverpool!Utd gonna get Fucked up!2-1 against Barca 4-0 thumping to Sheffield and what better way 2 end that than by whipping Utd 3-0.Gerrard and Kuyt will provide the goals.You’ll never walk alone

  6. well it is his blog so he (swoosh) can say what he wants,when he wants, even if it is at times inaccuarate/biased/anti-manutd. manutd to win 2-1.

    peter kirsten

  7. Liverpool gona fuck utd up good and solid, if we could fuck barca up at the nou camp we will gladly fuck utd up at anfield, the kops gona get you bustards.

    Liverpool all the way
    Liverpool 9 – 0 Utd

    lukman lichtenburg

  8. man united babe are you out there

    last time you were suppose to bring the samoosa’s

    This time around liverpool going to give you guys 3-0 or 3-1 or 3-2
    and the samooosa’s will be provided by me a “true liverpool babe with her old green liverpool top “
    Like they use to say in the old days “it like taking CANDY from a Baby”

    A bottle of carlsberg to the winners and samoosa for the 3nil victors

    eat your heart out united

    Liverpool babe here to stay !!!!!

  9. BIGGY BIGGY BIGGY this one is for you mate…. i hope you gave that bum chum buddy of yours (Ronaldo) a good pep talk. He WILL need it. Tell him to stay on his feet for your sake… You have defended his Izzet more galantly than the reputation of your family name… Its time he does something for YOU right…. oh wait…. will the ronaldo even spit on your grave when you dead?


  10. Didn’t the scots loose the battle to England and also William Wallace died. so i guess it’s tickets for Liverpool then

  11. This is an important game for both teams esp Liverpool.

    Liverpool have Arsenal & Bolton nipping at their heels and can’t afford to lose anymore points. That being said, Anfield has become a fortress and of late, Pool are looking deadly. With Mascherano giving Benitez a headache for the central mid-field roll alongside Gerrard. These games are won & lost in the mid-field as usual. Gerrard vs Ronaldo, Alonso vs Scholes, Sissoko vs Carrick.

    Man U also can’t afford to slip up coz Chelski are right up there waiting for them to slip up. Ronaldo IMO, has already won player of the season with his sublime form. Liverpool have Carragher & Sissoko to sort him out.

    Whatever happens, it will have repurcussions for this season as a whole.

    C’mon you Mighty Reds!


  12. TAKEN FROM http://www.manutdzone.com

    Ye-ha, cowboy, it’s all change on Merseyside!!! Out with the family run corner shop mentality and in with big business American razzmatazz!!! And according to Liverpudlians, these American’s are nicer than the beastly Glazers!!! The hardcore Kopite duo of Tom Hicks and George Gillett were so knowledgeable about English football that Hicks referred to the team as the Liverpool Reds, Gillett repeatedly referred to “the franchise”, mentioned a defenseman, a goal tender and the crowning glory – Hicks mistakenly called Man Utd as Man Ham!!!

    Obviously some mix up with Manchester United and West Ham – any easy mistake to make considering the similarities between the two clubs….easy if you are a multi millionaire American with no knowledge of English football but has heard there’s a few easy bucks to be leeched out of it, perhaps?

    Gillet referred to Liverpool as being like the Boston Red Sox baseball team saying they were “the biggest and the best!!!”. An interesting analogy indeed. For the Boston Red Sox are bitter rivals with the team from the neighbouring city – the New York Yankees. Just like Liverpool and Manchester United. However every American boy knows Boston are in fact dwarfed by that much bigger and much more glamorous New York Yankees. Just like Liverpool and United….an interesting freudian slip methinks!!!

    Also, the two men are described as winners – but my analysis shows both sports teams owned by them (Montreal Canadiens and Texas Rangers) haven’t won their respective domestic titles in 20 years. They’ll fit in well at Anfield now in it’s 17th year without the League crown sitting in their shabby trophy cabinet.

    To the game then and a testing encounter for Sir Alex’s men. Liverpool have yet to lose at home in the League though they were blitzed twice by Arsenal 3-1 and 6-3 so it is not unattainable. It should be a fiesty affair unlike last season’s dire 0-0 which was notable only that it was Roy Keane’s last ever game in red, or blue as it was that day.

    On a positive note, Rafael Benitez’s record against the United, Arsenal and Chelsea manager’s is terrible. He has yet to beat Sir Alex in the league, losing thrice and drawing once, though admittedly he did pinch a 1-0 win in the FA Cup 4th round last term, notable only for Alan Smith’s appalling injury and the horrid, some would say sick and evil response it brought out in the Kop.

    United’s superior class will be matched by Liverpool’s desire to stop their Mancunian rivals so it will be an even encounter with only a hairs breadth between the two. One hopes Sir Alex does not try and grab a 1-0 in similar fashion to the ill fated Arsenal defeat at the Emirates. Benitez on the other hand will try and do exactly that, he’ll not want overstretch United with attacks because that will play into the visitors hands, especially the white hot speed of Saha and Ronaldo. Gerrard will be key to their game plan so we may see Sir Alex adopt a dreaded 4-5-1 or instruct Rooney/Giggs to drop back frequently.

    A draw is statistically more unlikely than normal in this fixture. On average around 30% of all football games are draws but in the 15 meetings at Anfield in the Premiership only 3 have been draws – a 20% ratio. So in conclusion, the mists of time are cloudy but I will plump for a narrow Manchester United victory – the away side’s more lavish skills and desire for title glory will give them the edge to emerge victorious.

  13. All this talk before the game just builds the hype and expectation….

    The real talking should be done on the pitch at Anfield on Saturday…

    To be honest, i wish we (LFC) we closer to United in terms of points… as always luck for them, and luck against us means that the gap is too big for us to realistically close before May….

    But there is still plenty to play for… afterall, we still have a mathematical chance of taking the title…. and plenty of pride to play for….

    I think LFC will win fairly comfortably…. and hopefully damage two or three key MUFC okes before their game with Lille….

    United are an average team playing lucky football at the moment… that luck will soon dry up.

    Thanx man

  14. There they go again running their fucken mouths, hey liverpool bustards shut the fuck up, last time i remember the score very clearly do you?

    Big mouths before the game but once you lose you dissapear of the face of the earth and history always repeats itself.

    Talk big now we used to it and crawl back to your scum of a city and not say a word once you lose because thats what you always do.

    Bunch of big mouth wankers, fucken moffies who run away once they lose.

    riyaad rustenburg

  15. Faheem vezharz and lukman fuck of back to those farms you come from, big mouths now, faheem where was your mouth when liverpool lost?

    Liverpool babe keep your samoosa’s chances are they rotten like you but even after you burn them they still wont look as bad as you, ABR shut up about ronaldo we heard all you fucken unintelligent bustards excuses before, he scores more goals than your strikers so dont be so quick to criticise.

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  16. 9 – 0 ???!!!
    Lukeman because you come from Lichtenberg we’l let this one slide!!
    shame must be difficult…i’d love to hear what you have to say after the game!!
    tough call on the result..both teams seem to be on top of things lately… hope it goes uniteds way though, we’l have to wait and see!!

  17. Rafael Benitez: “Our new Winger cost five million. I call him our wonder player”
    Sir Alex Ferguson: “Why’s that?”
    Rafael Benitez: “Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!”

    Q: Why will Liverpool never win the League?
    A: They keep scoring Owen goals

    Q: How many Liverpool fans does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Yeah, as if they have electricity in Liverpool…

    Q: What’s is the differance between Pamela Anderson and the Liverpool goal?
    A: Pam’s only got two tits in front of her

    Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an intelligent Liverpool supporter and an old drunk are walking down the street together when simultaneously they each spot a fifty quid note. Who gets it?
    A: The old drunk, of course – the other 3 are mythical creatures.

    Q: What do Pool Fans and sperm have in common?
    A: One in 2,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

    Q: How can you tell a level headed Liverpool supporter?
    A: He dribbles from both sides of his mouth – at the same time.

    Q: What do you get if you cross a Liverpol fan with a pig?
    A: Thick bacon…

    A father and son were eating breakfast. The fathers newspaper had the headline “Van Gogh sold for £8 million”.
    The son asked “is he worth it, Dad?”, to which the father, surprised at his son’s interest in fine art, replied “I suppose so, son. Why do you ask?”
    The son said “Well, Liverpool paid more than that for Stan Collymore, and he was crap”

    Newsflash: Thieves broke into the home of a Liverpool fan and stole two books. “The thing that upsets me”, he said “is that I hadn’t finished colouring them in yet!”

    Q: What do you get if you cross a Monkey with a Liverpudlian?
    A: Nothing. The monkeys are far too clever to screw a Liverpudlian.

    Q: What is the difference between a battery and a Scowser fan?
    A: A battery has a positive side.

    The best one of all:

    Q: Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
    A: So they ain’t mistaken fur a Liverpudlian women.

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  18. UTD Okes time for more laughter

    Three men, a Scouser, a utd fan and a Rasta all in the maternity ward waiting for their partners to give birth. The midwife comes out and tells them congratulations, they’re all fathers of beautiful healthy boys, however unfortunately they’ve run out of the name tags, and the babies have been mixed up, so if they could each go in and identify their sons from any family resemblance etc. The Utd fan wants to go first, so in he goes and comes out with a black baby The Rasta looks a bit confused, “excuse me”, he said, “but don’t you think he’s likely to be mine ?” “Probably”, said the Utd fan, “but one of them in there’s a scouser, and I’m takin’ no chances !!!!!”

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  19. Bob Hope was on ‘Surprise Surprise’, and bragged that despite his 97 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night. After the show, Cilla said, “Bob, if I’m not being too forward, I’d love to have sex with an older man. Let’s go back to my place.” So they go back to her place and have great sex.

    Afterwards, Bob says, “If you think that was good, let me sleep for a half hour, and we can have even better sex. But while I’m sleeping, hold my testicles in your left hand and my penis in your right hand.” Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says, “Okay.”

    He sleeps for half an hour,awakens, and they have even better sex. Then Bob says, ” Cilla , that was wonderful. But if you let me sleep for an hour, we can have the best sex yet. But again, hold my testicles in your left hand, and my penis in your right hand.”

    Cilla once again says, “Great Bob, but tell me, does my holding your testicles in my left hand and your penis in my right stimulate you while you’re sleeping?”

    Bob replies, “No, the last time I slept with a Scouser, she stole my wallet!”

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  20. Liverpool’s new signing, Rigobert Song from Cameroon, has just played his first game for the (once) ‘Mighty Reds’. He dashes into the players lounge and phones his mother to tell her all about it. “Oh, Rigobert”…she squeals…..”….I am so pleased and proud of you, at last you are playing for a great team……they may not be as great as they once were, but I hear they have won the European Cup…..but, son…..things are not so good at home. I am really worried. The violence is getting too much, your sister has been raped twice, your dear Grandmother has been attacked in the street, there is raw sewage running down the roads, its becoming more like a war-zone every day.

    How we let you talk us into coming and living in Liverpool, I’ll never know….”

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  21. Three Liverpool Supporters were in a pub and spotted a United fan at the bar. The first one said he was going to piss him off. He walked over to the United fan and tapped him on the shoulder.

    “Hey Utd Fan, I hear your David Beckham is a poof”.
    “Really? I didn’t know that”.
    Puzzled, the Scouser walked back to his buddies.
    “I told him Beckham was a poof and he didn’t care”!
    “You just don’t know how to set him off, watch and learn”.
    The second Scouser walked over and tapped the United fan on the shoulder.
    “Hey Utd fan, I hear your David Beckham is a transvestite poof”!
    “Oh, Christ I wasn’t aware of that, thanks”.
    Shocked beyond belief, the Scouser went back to his buddies.
    “You’re right. He is unshakeable!”
    The third Scouser said “No, no, no, I will really piss him off, you just watch”.
    The Scouser walked over to the United fan, tapped him on the shoulder and said………

    “Hey Utd fan I hear your David Beckham is a Liverpool Supporter!”
    “Apparently so. Just as your mates said earlier”

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  22. A man was walking down a street in the centre of Manchester and saw a Rotweiler attacking an old lady. He immediately ran over to the dog and started to struggle in which he sustained many bites, but he eventually he got his hands around the dog’s neck and strangled it until it was dead. A passing reporter commented: that was fucking fantastic how you saved that old dears life!, I have to write a story about this, how about the headline – Manchester United fan saves granny’s life?, “i’m not a Utd fan” replied the bloke. “well how about Man City fan saves granny’s life”? said the reporter. “I’m not a City fan either” siad our hero, ” I’m from Liverpool”. “Never mind I know just the headline, you read the paper tomorrow” said the reporter. The man picks up the paper the following day to read the headline – SCOUSE BASTARD KILLS FAMILY PET!!

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  23. One day a Jew, a Hindu, and a scouser all arrived at their hotel to find that there had been a mix-up with the bookings, and that there was only one room left for them to share. The manager explained that this room only had two beds, but that there was a barn at a neighbouring farm which the farmer, an old friend of his, would let one of them sleep in free of charge.

    They complained a bit, but since there was nowhere else to go, the Jew graciously said he’d sleep inthe barn. The Hindu and the scouser were just settling down to sleep in their room, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Jew.

    “I’m sorry,” he said, “but there’s a pig in that barn and because I’m Jewish I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it.” “No problem,” said the Hindu. “I’ll sleep out there instead.” So off he went to the barn, leaving the scouser and the Jew to share the room.

    They were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Hindu. “I’m sorry,” he said, “but there’s a cow in that barn and because I’m a Hindu I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it.”

    The scouser grudgingly agreed to give up his bed and stomped off to the barn, leaving the Jew and the Hindu to share the room. The Jew and the Hindu were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door.

    It was the cow and the pig.

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  24. At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke – 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs. He’s having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the queer fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian. Leaning over, he cups his huge ear: “Do you want a blow job?” he whispers. At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened. Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer. “I’ve never seen you react like that” he says. “Just what did he say to you?”
    “I’m not sure” the big scouser replies. “Something about a job.”

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  25. An Italian, a Frenchman and a Scouser are discussing their relative performance in bed. The Italian says – “When I’ve a finshed a makin da love with my girlfriend I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, she floatsa 6 inches abovea da bed in ecstasy” The Frenchman replies – “Zat is nossing, when Ah ‘ave finished making ze love with my girlfriend Ah kiss all ze way down her body and zen Ah lick zer soles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats ze 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy” The Scouser says – “Dat’s nothin, when I’ve finished shaggin me bird, I get out of bed, walk over to da winda and wipe my knob clean on da curtains. She hits the ****in roof !!!”

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  26. The monkey enters the rocket and finds an envelope marked “Monkey”. It opens it and reads the letter. It contained very precise and complicated instructions on how to fly the rocket. The Scouser enters the rocket and finds an envelope marked “Scouser”. He opens and reads the letter. It said “Feed the monkey”

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  27. Riyaad Rustenburg your flippen farmer, shut your mouth and go back to your corner in Zinniaville,
    you worry about milking sheep and shagging them!
    F@#kin Man United Cunt



  30. On a rare day off, Rafa Benitez was cleaning out his cellar when he came across an old vase. Thinking it was valuable he rubbed it to clean off the dust. To his surprise out popped a Genie who said, “Oh master, I grant you one wish.”

    Rather surprised, Rafa thought for a while before replying, “Hhmmm… I know! Since I like going to Spain to find young players I would like you to build a bridge from Liverpool to Spain since I don’t like flying and the trains are unreliable – this way I could drive.”

    “Oh no master,” responded the Genie, “that is an impossible request, it would take the will of a thousand genies to grant you that wish – you must choose a task I can grant you.”

    Rafa mumbled under his breath for a bit before saying, “I have a player in my team who should score more goals, can you make Crouch into a 20 goals a season player?”

    To which the Genie replied, “OK, what colour lights do you want on your bridge.”

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  31. Rafa Benitez walks into the Liverpool changing room for their next game, looks at his players and says, “I’m not supposed to play some of you since our chairman said you were stupid against Man U.

    “So what I have to do is ask you a question, and if you get it right, you can play.”

    They all agree and ask Rafa to start with their star players first. First up: Gerrard. Rafa looks into his eyes intently and asks, “Okay, now concentrate… what is two plus two?” Gerrard thinks for a moment and then he answers, “Four?”

    “Four!” Rafa shouts loudly, excited that his top player got it right.

    In response the other liverpool players plead, “Come on boss, give him another chance!”

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  32. For a neutral’s sake I hope Liverpool win, just to make the league a bit more interesting.

    But lately, pool crumble on the big occassions (Barca an exception)

    The only issues I think is that the pool defenders cannot cope with pace, and that Vidic seems to be able to head everything.

    On United’s side, their best defence is attack. Giggs and ronaldo on the wings, and scholes pulling the strings. But they have yet to come back from 1 nil down against a good defensive team. Rooney seems like he can only play on the big occasions, and I hope Benitez plays Sisoko to break United’s rythem.

    The referee will play a big part, and remember football is a 93 minute game !!

  33. A primary teacher starts a new job at a school on Merseyside and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan.
    She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Liverpool fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

    The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: “Mary, why didn’t you raise your hand?”

    “Because I’m not a Liverpool fan,” she replied.

    The teacher, still shocked, asks: “Well, if you’re not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?”

    “I’m a Manchester United fan, and proud of it,” Mary replied.

    The teacher could not believe her ears. “Mary, why are you a United fan?”

    “Because my mum and dad are from Manchester, and my mum is a United fan and my dad is a United fan, so I’m a United fan too!”

    “Well,” said the teacher, in an annoyed tone, “that’s no reason for you to be a United fan. You don’t have to be just like your parents all of the time.

    What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and car thief, what would you be then?”

    “Then,” Mary smiled, “I’d be a Liverpool fan.”

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  34. Zobester they a fucken joke and we gona kick ass this weekend, watch their mouths now and after they lose where they go no one knows, will be a tough match but we a tough team and got all the ingredients for a sublime victory

    Glory Glory Man Utd
    Glory Glory Man Utd
    Glory Glory Man Utd

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  35. Riyaad from Rustenburg is a bored, insecure PUSS…

    I bet you he can’t play football…

    Come up with something original you cock-sucker…editing jokes the whole day… your hands will be so sore from typing… you won’t be able to wank yourself tonight…

    You fucken pansie… go practice some ball skills, you hopeless good for nothing doos.

    King Kenny

  36. this match will be the start of utds downfall and their whole season will crumble, liverpool as always will mastermind it

    Victory goes to liverpool

    Liverpool fan

  37. Riyaad, you sir are a legend. I’m loving how you breaking their Izzet! Just like how it’s gonna be broken on Saturday.

    Carrim, we know that you’re a mathematician but to even believe that you scum have a chance at the title shows that you’re no realist!

    What do you mean we’re a lucky side, i admit we’ve played poorly on occassion and got some fortunate results but any neutral would agree that throughout this season our form has been sublime!

    Anyway as Azee said, “You make your own luck!”

    Saturday is the day the talking stops and the players do the job.

    Glory, Glory Man United!

  38. once again the liverpool fuckers rattling their mouths off…won’t be a surprise then on monday when none of cunts are to be found. your new boy mascherano was so desperate to leave west ham that he went to liverpool but we all know where he relly wanted to go after saying how proud he was to play for “THE RED DEVILS” says a lot huh? swoosh! we spoke on sat night, i told u MAN U 3 liverpool 1, ronaldo, saha and rooney. MAN U have been averaging bout 3 goals game so good luck FUCKERS cos anfield has become united’s training ground, y do u think they wanna move to stanley park?? not to increase attendance, cos the only timethey geta full crowd is when the RED DEVILS are in town…like i said MAN U 3, liverpool 1.

  39. Q – Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps.
    A – Well, they had photos of Manchester Utd players on them-folk could’nt figure out which side to spit on

  40. This one for you Zobs

    Why can’t you get a cup of tea at old frafford ?

    All the muggs are on the field and all the CUPS are at Anfield

  41. ferdinand walks in to a fish & chips shop and orders a large chips and a fish.The lady at the counter says it won’t be long.So rio says it better be fat then

  42. You’re trapped in room with a tiger,a rattlesnake and a man utd fan.You have a gun with two bullets.What should you do?
    Shoot the utd fan. Twice

  43. Hey riyaad we’ll see whos here on monday morning !

    Looks like your mouth seems to be the only big one on this blog.
    You starting to sound like that other prick , zunaid .You two should get together for a drink maybe . I hear you boys from rustenburg like that sort of thing !


  45. Riyad you dipshit.You fricken know nothing.Get out of the joke world u live in and come back 2 earth.And if u want 2 share your lame jokes than be a little original.These jokes are so old Jesus used 2 tell them 2 moses

  46. Those jokes are lame.They the worst fuckin jokes i ever heard.Hey riyaad farm boy go fuck your sheep dog and if you dont have a sheep dog then you and all the other manchester united faggots can have an orgy and fuck each other because thats what you guys do best.
    Liverpool 4 Life !

  47. Remember my words from the last Jihaad post fellow bloggers…
    All you Liverpool fans with your big mouths will definately need that tissue box once again, but maybe this time be prepared with two boxes because when you guys lose on Saturday its going to HURT! Losing once is bad, but losing twice in this season to the Utd Kings is going to bring too much pain and depression!
    Be prepared for defeat coz its coming your way on Saturday!!!!

  48. Riyaad Rustenburg is one bored Fucker, go find a chick to keep u happy n make u smile, do u read jokes all day in Rustenburg? Cos u seem like a joke, U fag…

  49. Liverpool never won the league in 2 decades and looks like the droughts going to continue, even somalia gets more rain than anfield, are you guys used to losing yet and always being 3rd or 4th best?

    Riyaad you go boy you do us proud and dont pay attention to them they jealous we always win, and the fact that we can win the league pisses them of more but the trebble just breaks their hearts into tiny pieces. We’ll meet up for a drink

    Raees Rustenburg

  50. Hey Liverpool Fan, guess what Liverpools the joke

    They’ve given us hours and hours of laughter watching them falter over the past 16 soon to be 17 years of no premiership victory

    And the joke goes to LIVERPOOL

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  51. when you walk through storm, hold your head up high and dont be afraid of the dark…. walk on you reds… we are going to be serving a three course meal starting with gajar halwa to those fairies from manchester…. walk on

  52. King Kenny thats not what your chick said last night, seen a bright orange ford cortina with king kenny on the front windscreen and a massive boot spoiler the size of the car last time i was in jhb, must be you, how many gold teeth you got king kenny coz when you smiled i thought i was looking at a jewellary store but than the orange shone through again and i realised its only the king, none other than king kenny himself, sure the name suits you your highness

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  53. Wasim the storm is to strong and going to blow you away, recovery from the storm in october is not finished and its time for some new hurricanes to blow you away.

    Not gona bother mentioning the gap in points because its too much for liverpool guys to comprehend

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  54. Mr. Mayet. Your blogg is going to the dogs with comments like this. This is more toilet humour than football chat. Even though the number of messages are flowing, not much worth any substance.

    To the Die Hard liverpool fans who actually have a clue about football, i think we in for a cracker this weekend. Both teams are in form and playing good football. Liverpool fresh off a great victory at the Nou Camp and United keeping there form that lead them to the top of the table. Liverpool would have a slight advantage, playing infront of the KOP. Liverpool need this victory to restore some Izzet. After failing to beat the Toffees and having lost at O.T this is you last chance to restore premiership Izzet. Can Rafa bring his European tactics into the derby and come out on top??? I hope not.

    My prediction: Ronaldo gonna dive in the 84 minute to give us a penalty and slot it home. That would hurt you boys more then anything.(thats for you ABR)

    I just hope we can leave the KOP with 3 points in the bag and march on to lift the league trophy.

    I’m sure Stevie G and co would not like that too much.

  55. Fahim Vasherz the moffie comes out of hidding once again. When Man U whipped Liverpools arse the last time, not one Liverpool supporter posted a comment after the match. Now they all come out once again talking shit. Let the football do the talking.

    Swoosh stop writting as your alter Ego Riyaad from Rustenburg. This thing might just get out of hand and personal, and people might get hurt

  56. Naseem the vulgar language on hear is disgusting ,they call themselves muslims but use vulgar language over a football match !
    please guys respect the fellow brothers out there and lets keep it clean ,at the end of the day our izzet is on line ,its a shame on you guys ,disgusting ! in simple english you all know LIVERPOOL are the better side and are going to WIN on the day .so make sabr when you lose and except defeat !we all stand by our teams ,but lets not lose the respect amongst ourselves .MR REFF PLEASE ISSUE SOME RED CARDS ASAP


  57. Swoosh ban this idot Riyaad from Rustenburg… he needs to be taught a lesson, this blog is not for fools…. Dont spoil a good thing guys

  58. Its gonna be tight. liverpools home form has been good. i think the rub of the green is going our way. look at saturday against fulham 87th minute we do the job. same in Lille, get that dubious goal, its going our way! should we win we will be 12 clear by the time chelsea play. u know the scousers will lift them selves up for this one but a fletcher or ji sun park to get the winner!

    the quality of comments have been childish to say the least!

  59. This is Good.Its Good.

    On Form Liverpool should take it. Man Utd have been lucky ,eally lucky and they showed chinks in their amour against Reading.On Form Id have to go with Liverpool.
    Lets see what happens on Saturday.

    The Quwatul Saatie

  60. Azhar I just had a chat and a guaai with Waseem koor now about the game and Rafa’s tactics.

    What shit are you talking that Utd deserve the last couple of results.
    I told Waseem that I will telll youthat if the Guvee was around he would have hit you.

    COME ON AZEE. You are very silent. promise on this blog that you ,Hoosain,Seth,Punisher,Naem laudium,Biggy and the other Utd Muggs Oh and Riyad Rustenburg will SAY YOUR SAY and agree for me to put you “MOUTHS OF TEH SOUTHS” and generals of Old Trafford on AS MUGGS of the forthcoming week.

    And Riyad Rustenburg, For taking King Kenny apart like that and from pressure from teh Generals.

    But Thanks for your Input……


  61. Naseem

    You have my word that if United lose i can be made MUGG of the Week along with my fellow United Bretheren. We have supreme confidence in the ability of the lads and Sir’s tactics.

    Liverpool are currently on form and looking strong but form goes out the window when it comes to games like these. It’s all about heart, desire and ability.

    Based on ability it should be ours, the question is will the guys like Rio and Ronaldo be up for the fight and take it to the scum.

    The majority of comments on here have been immature, initially funny but then ridiculously stupid. The regulars dont need to stoop to the levels of some on this blog by responding to them. Let them wallow by themselves in their ignorance.

    I dont think that this should count as a record comment posting as a lot has been said in poor taste.

  62. Things are getting heated on here, good to see the passion and excitmement building, getting abit vulgar but from a new blogger it makes the whole thing more exciting, guys stop the swearing but keep the shit talk going, it would really be a very sad boring site if everyone gave sensible comments, swoosh congrats on the site it rocks


  63. My last comment until after the game.

    Swoosh your commitee has double standards

    Firstly when liverpool supporters swear like faheem vezharz, EB Kop End, lukman, king kenny, Em_Ay, Liverpool fan and the anonymous users than no one hears you complain.

    Secondly my jokes were funny and cisse’s were shit and as a liverpool fan you guys cant handle it so your committee who all support liverpool decide to ban me to stop the utd guys from taking more of your so called izzet away.

    Thirdly i never swore anyone who didnt swear at me first but they support liverpool so its fine.

    Forthly whats the point in having a blog if there’s no freedom of speech? You want sensible comments for a utd liverpool derby than by all means go ahead and delete all the unsensible comments and you should be left with 7 if you lucky, why do guys buy a fhm instead of time magazines?
    Coz we wanna hear shit talk and talk shit not debate on the economy, your committee and you should seriously consider your decision because if im banned its only fair to ban all the others like me, wont happen coz im a utd fan
    I’ll leave with this message not to you or your liverpool supporters but to my fellow UTD fans, we gona kick their ass boys, they know it and thats why they fear us, we are first on the log and even if we lose we will still go on to win the league something they have not done in years, we did it once before when they all said we wont but we did and its time to do it again

    We Shall Triumph
    UTD shall triumph
    And sat night will be oh so sweet after that delicious victory and as usual they will all go quiet and we wont hear from them.

    Riyaad Rustenburg

  64. Riyaad Rustenburg

    If you want “freedom of speech”, why not publish your own blog???
    Guess you’ll have one hell of a fan base…

    You sound like one pip squeak piece of shit that couldn’t even force yourself out of your own asshole…

    By the way which site did you copy and paste those jokes from???





  67. Swoosh, thanks for booting that Riyaad oke from Rustenberg… I suggest you lump all his comments into 1… coz its all just a big joke, the owe has nothing intelligent to say…. plus it will be a better refelction of how mnay hits this post gets..

    On a serious note, Seth, I agree that it will be very tough for LFC to win the league this time round, but still not impossible… and I concede MUFC are a decent side BUT I still think they are extremely lucky…as Azee has conceded.

    Having said that, we all know that LFC v MUFC is huge… and although it’s not a do-or-die game this time round in terms of the league… there is still plenty of IZZET to play for…

    For one, we won’t want MUFC to win the league, although we haven’t been that friendly with Chelsea lately either, but our hatred for MUFc has a long history….

    But more importantly from my point of view, besides izzet and pride etc… this game comes before vital Champs League fixtures, so both sides will want momentum going into these games… and so there is more to play for here than just pride…

    ..thats why my hope is that we hammer MUFC to dent thier confidence before the Lile game, and we need to damage some okes too… because although this game does come before champs league games, both sides will give it their all and not worry about getting injured, which they would have done if it were just another league fixture…

    …and at the end of it all, I suppose i’d be happy to wait abit longer for league title number 19 in return for taking the champs league for a 6th time…

    Walk on boys…


  68. The day is fast approaching when the battle-lines drawn many decades ago will be dusted off in preparation for the MIGHTY RED DEVIL ARMY’S imminent arrival at the barren wasteland that is anfield, home of the SCOUSER PIGS..
    for sure, its gonna be a helleva battle but the MIGHTY ARMY from the NORTH will eventually prevail…
    To Swoosh and the die-hard kop fans i say thank you for coming, at least you put up a fight! 🙂
    To the RED DEVIL ARMY i say: Bring the 3 points home Lads,we’re gonna win the Premiership at Anfield!
    My prediction Man U 3, Liverpool 1

  69. Swoosh you banned the rustenburg oke and understandable but what about these other people who talk just as much shit as him, anonymous and sv are just as guilty and a few other names, where’s there ban or is riyaad the only guilty culprit of talking shit on this site?

    Utd gona win and biggy i hope ronaldo dives and get a penalty, that would just make the victory so much more enjoyable, but realistically we dont need him to dive coz we should score 3 by than.

    Liverpool good luck because ul need it, anfield is our practise grounds



  71. fuck the banter boys, it’s the technological revolution which amazes me, all i want to know is when did rustenburg get the internet… WOW

  72. united v liverpool!!!! it is simply amazing how one absolutely worthless event in our lives can produce such hatred and bitterness and undeniable idiocity amongst us!! the result wont change ur life, it wont kill u,it wont hurt u!!! lets hope we see some good football, spectacular goals and a united win for riyaad rustenburg!! he needs it guys, we dont!!!!!!!


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